How to Slide into DMs: The Definitive 2025 Guide for Men
Learn how to slide into DMs without being creepy. Our guide gives you a step-by-step framework and real examples that actually get replies.
Knowing how to slide into DMs is a modern superpower. When done right, it can open doors to amazing connections. But let's be honest, the line between charming and creepy feels razor-thin, and the fear of getting it wrong is real. How do you do this without being weird?
You've come to the right place.
This isn't another article with vague tips. This is your step-by-step, no-fluff playbook, packed with real, actionable examples. We're going to break down the entire process, from prepping your profile to sending the perfect message that gets a reply. Because a successful DM starts long before you ever hit send.
The Golden Rule: Your Profile is Your Opening Line
Before anyone reads your carefully crafted message, what's the first thing they do? They tap on your profile picture. Every single time.
Think of your profile as the movie trailer for you. If the trailer is grainy, boring, or confusing, nobody is going to buy a ticket to the movie. The same logic applies here. Even the wittiest, most charming DM will fall flat if your profile screams "low effort." A weak profile is an instant dealbreaker.
Your photos need to do the heavy lifting. They must tell a story of a fun, interesting, and authentic life. This doesn't mean you need to be jumping out of planes or wrestling alligators. It just means showing different facets of your personality.
Common Photo Mistakes That Kill Your Chances
Are you guilty of any of these? Be honest.
The Blurry Photo: It looks like it was taken with a potato from 2007. Delete it.
The Gym Selfie: Unless you're a professional bodybuilder, one is more than enough. Multiple just seems vain.
The "Where's Wally?" Group Shot: If she has to guess which one you are, you've already lost.
The Fish Photo: It's a cliché for a reason. Let it go.
Fixing these mistakes is crucial. Your profile must project confidence and approachability. Check out our guide for more tips on getting Good Tinder Pictures.
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Once your profile is locked and loaded, it's time to craft the message. Follow this framework, and you'll dramatically increase your response rate. It's about being genuine, observant, and making it easy for them to reply.
Step 1: The Reconnaissance Phase (Don't Be a Stranger)
Never, ever send a generic DM. Before you type anything, spend 60 seconds doing some light research on their profile. Think of yourself as a detective looking for clues.
Scan their bio, recent posts, and especially their latest stories. Stories are goldmines because they're current and show what's on their mind right now. What are their hobbies? Did they just visit a cool coffee shop or go on a hike? Did they post a picture of their pet?
Your goal is to find a specific and recent point of connection. This isn't about being a stalker. It's about showing you're not just another random bloke spamming "hey" to a hundred profiles. You're showing you actually looked and found something genuinely interesting.
Step 2: The Opener - Connect, Don't Compliment
This is where most men crash and burn. Your opener sets the entire tone. Generic compliments are the weakest possible way to start.
Messages like "hey," "what's up," "you're beautiful," or just a fire emoji are destined for the ignore pile. Why? They are zero-effort, they put the other person on a pedestal, and they scream "I have nothing interesting to say."
Instead, use the "Observation + Question" formula. It's simple and incredibly effective.
You make an observation about something you found during your reconnaissance, and then you ask an open-ended question about it. This combination proves you paid attention and invites a response.
Let's look at some examples:
Bad: "Hey, cute dog." Good: "That hiking spot in your story looks amazing. Was that near [Local Area]? I've been looking for new trails."
Bad: "You're gorgeous." Good: "Your guitar cover of that Fleetwood Mac song was seriously impressive. How long have you been playing?"
Bad: "Hey" Good: "I saw you were at that [Concert/Event] last weekend. How was the energy in the crowd for the headliner?"
The good examples work because they are specific, personal, and ask for more than a yes/no answer. They are perfect for learning how to start a conversation with a girl that goes somewhere.
Step 3: Add Humour & Personality (Where It Makes Sense)
Humour can be a powerful tool, but it has to be used correctly. Don't force a cheesy pickup line. The best humour is situational and often a bit self-aware.
If you see an opportunity based on their content, go for it. Did they post a story about a cooking experiment gone wrong? That's a perfect opening.
For example:
"My condolences to that burnt pizza. As a fellow amateur chef who has sacrificed many dishes to the smoke alarm, I respect the attempt. What was the intended creation?"
This is light, funny, and relatable. It creates an instant connection over a shared, humorous experience. It shows you don't take yourself too seriously, which is an attractive quality.
Step 4: Keep it Concise and Ask a Question (Make it Easy to Reply)
Your first message should not be a novel. No one wants to read a wall of text from a stranger. It's overwhelming and signals you might be a bit too eager.
Keep your opener to one or two sentences. That's it.
The most important part? Always end with a question.
A statement like "That's a cool dog" is a dead end. But "That dog looks like a professional troublemaker. What's his funniest story?" invites a reply. You're giving them an easy job—all they have to do is answer. The goal is to start a conversation, not tell your life story in the first DM.
Step 5: The Follow-up & Moving Off the App
So, you got a reply. Awesome! Now, the goal is to have a brief, engaging conversation before moving things off the platform.
Aim for 3-5 messages back and forth. You want to build a little rapport and confirm there's a vibe. Don't let the conversation drag on for days in the DMs; that's how you become a pen pal.
Once the conversation is flowing, make the transition. Be confident and direct.
"I'm really enjoying this chat, but my Instagram DMs are a mess. We should switch to text. What's your number?"
This is smooth, shows intent, and makes perfect sense. Learning how to get her number on dating apps is a skill, and this direct approach works wonders.
No Likes? No Replies? It's Probably Your Photos.
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10+ Proven "Slide into DMs" Examples That Actually Work
Need some inspiration? Here are some copy-paste-friendly examples for different scenarios. Remember to adapt them to be specific to her profile!
Responding to a Travel Story
"Your photos from Italy are unreal. I'm planning a trip there next year. Any non-touristy food spots you'd recommend that I absolutely can't miss?"
"That view from the top of [Mountain Name] in your story is epic! How was the hike up? Looks pretty challenging."
Responding to a Hobby/Talent Story (music, art, sports)
"Just saw your story playing the piano - you're incredibly talented. Is that a piece by Ludovico Einaudi? I'm a huge fan."
"Okay, your pottery work is seriously cool. How did you get into that? I've always wanted to try it."
Responding to a Food/Drink Post
"That brunch spot you posted looks incredible. Is that the [Restaurant Name]? I've been meaning to check it out. Was it as good as it looks?"
"I consider myself a coffee snob, and that latte art in your post is a 10/10. Where is that from? I need to add it to my list."
The Funny/Playful DM
(In response to a story of them with a pet) "This might be a bold question, but I need to know your dog's opinion on the current state of pop music. He looks like he has strong feelings."
(In response to a post of a weird food combo) "I'm both terrified and intrigued by your choice to put hot sauce on ice cream. On a scale of 1 to 'never again,' how would you rate it?"
The Bold but Respectful DM
"Okay, your taste in music is elite (saw your Spotify playlist link). I feel like we'd get along. I'm [Your Name], by the way."
"Not going to lie, I saw your profile and was immediately impressed by [mention a specific achievement or interesting fact from their bio]. What's your story?"
These examples work because they avoid common dating profile mistakes men make in their opening lines. They are personal, inquisitive, and respectful.
How to Slide into DMs Without Being Creepy: The 3 Cardinal Sins to Avoid
This is the fear that holds most men back. The good news is that avoiding creepiness is simple if you just follow some basic rules of social etiquette. Don't commit these three cardinal sins.
Overly Aggressive or Sexual Comments. This should be obvious, but it needs to be said. Never, ever open with a comment about their body or anything sexual. It's inappropriate, disrespectful, and will get you blocked instantly. Keep it classy.
Replying to Very Old Posts. Commenting on a photo from 3 days ago is fine. Commenting on a photo from 3 years ago is not. It shows you were digging deep into their profile history, which comes across as obsessive and off-putting. Stick to recent content.
Double-Texting or Getting Angry if They Don't Reply. She doesn't owe you a response. People are busy, or maybe they're just not interested. Sending a follow-up message like "?" or getting angry is the fastest way to confirm you're not someone they want to talk to. Have some self-respect. If you don't get a reply, move on with your life. Knowing when to double text is key, and in a first DM slide, the answer is almost never.
The core principle is simple: be a normal, respectful human being. If you wouldn't say it to someone's face in a coffee shop, don't say it in their DMs.
Your Guide to Sliding Into DMs Successfully
Let's wrap this up by transforming our insights into a clear, actionable table. This is your cheat sheet for the best way to slide into DMs.
Phase
Do This
Don't Do This
Profile Prep
Use high-quality, recent photos showing your lifestyle. Have a clear and interesting bio.
Use blurry photos, too many selfies, or group shots where you're not the focus.
Reconnaissance
Look at their recent stories and posts for a specific "hook" or common interest.
Scroll back years in their feed. It's creepy.
The Opener
Use the "Observation + Question" formula. Refer to something specific on their profile.
Send generic messages like "hey," "u r hot," or a fire emoji.
The Conversation
Keep it light, ask open-ended questions, and aim for 3-5 messages back and forth.
Send a giant wall of text or let the conversation drag on for days.
The Follow-Up
Confidently suggest moving to text after building some rapport.
Get angry or send passive-aggressive messages if they don't reply.
Sliding into DMs is a skill. It's a game of confidence, observation, and authenticity. Your profile is your foundation, and your first message is your handshake. Make them both count.
The best DM in the world won't work if your profile is a liability. Your dating profile pictures are non-negotiable. Before you send that next message, give your profile the ultimate advantage.
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FAQ: How to Slide into DMs Successfully
Still have a few questions? Here are quick answers to the most common queries about sliding into DMs.
Should I like their photo before I DM?
Yes, it's a good move. Like one or two of their most recent photos right before you send the message. It can increase the chance they'll see your DM and shows a bit more engagement than a cold message.
What if they don't reply?
Nothing. You do absolutely nothing. Don't take it personally. They could be busy, in a relationship, or just not interested. Sending a follow-up message will only hurt your chances. Have an abundance mindset and move on.
How long should I wait to DM after I follow them?
There's no hard rule, but a day or two is a good buffer. The best strategy is to follow them and then wait for them to post a story you can genuinely comment on. This makes your message timely and natural.
Is it okay to DM someone I know in real life?
Yes, absolutely! It's often less weird than a cold DM. Just keep it casual and reference your real-life connection. Something like, "Hey [Name]! Great seeing you at [Place/Event] the other day. I was going to say hi but didn't get a chance. How have you been?" works perfectly.
How to Slide into DMs: A Guide with Examples (2025)
