50+ Funny Responses to 'How Are You' for UK Dating Apps
Stop boring your matches. Get 50+ witty & creative British comebacks to 'how are you' on Tinder, Hinge & Bumble to get more dates.
Let's be honest. The most common question on dating apps, 'How are you?', is a trap. A reply of 'I'm good, you?' is a conversation-killer. It’s the fastest way to get lost in a sea of boring profiles and end up with zero replies.
If you want to stand out and actually get dates, you need a better strategy. That strategy is humour. A witty, unexpected response to this simple question can instantly set you apart, showcase your personality, and make your match eager to reply.
In this guide, we'll give you a playbook of funny, British-style responses to 'how are you' that will get you more than just a laugh—they'll get you results.
Why 'I'm Good, Thanks' Is a Conversation Killer
In the competitive world of online dating, your first message is your most important asset. A generic reply is a wasted opportunity. Here's why pivoting to humour is a high-leverage move:
It Demonstrates Intelligence: Wit is a signal of cognitive flexibility and intelligence, which are universally attractive traits. It shows you can think on your feet.
It Projects Confidence: Replying with a funny line shows you're not afraid to take a small risk and don't take yourself too seriously. This is far more appealing than a safe, boring answer.
It Creates an Emotional Spike: A boring reply is forgettable. A funny reply creates a positive emotional reaction—a laugh, a smile, a moment of surprise. This makes you memorable and makes them want to reply.
It Filters for Compatibility: If they get and appreciate your sense of humour, it's a great early indicator of compatibility. If they don't, you've saved yourself time.
Using humour isn't just about being funny. It's a strategic tool to demonstrate high-value traits and make your profile stand out from the 99% of guys giving the same dull answers.
So, next time someone asks you "how are you" on Tinder, Hinge, or Bumble, consider using one of these funny responses!
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50+ Witty Comebacks for Boring 'How Are You' Messages
Forget the standard replies. Here are over 50 creative comebacks designed for British dating apps, broken down by style.
The Cleverly Confident Comeback
These responses are witty, sharp, and show you've got a bit of swagger.
"Currently operating at peak performance. How's your engine running?"
"Better now that you've asked."
"Fantastic. And getting better by the second."
"On a scale of 1 to 10, I'm at about a 'winning the lottery'. You?"
"Somewhere between a national treasure and a local legend."
"I'm pretty sure I'm the best thing that's going to happen to you today."
"Incredibly good-looking, but I assume you wanted to know about my mood?"
"Dangerously well. Proceed with caution."
"Ready for our first date, just need you to set the time."
"Like a Bond villain just before he reveals his master plan."
"I'm having a great day, but a message from you could make it legendary."
"Just polishing my crown, the usual."
"So far, so good. No alien invasions or zombie apocalypses to report."
"I'd say a solid 9.5, but you could easily make it a 10."
"Living the dream. Or at least a very convincing simulation of it."
"Excellent, thanks for noticing."
"My lawyer has advised me not to answer that question. How are you?"
Charmingly Self-Deprecating Wit
Classic British humour. It's relatable, endearing, and shows you don't take yourself too seriously.
"Surviving. My pot plant is doing better than me, to be honest. It's got more of a social life."
"Somewhere between 'needs a coffee' and 'needs a six-month holiday'."
"Just about holding it together with caffeine and questionable life choices. The usual."
"I’ve had three biscuits for breakfast, so I’d say things are going pretty well."
"Still haven't mastered adulting, but my tea-making skills are top-notch."
"Functioning at minimum requirements, cheers for asking."
"I've only had one existential crisis today, so it's a new record."
"My five-year plan is to figure out what I'm doing in the next five minutes."
"About as stable as a Jenga tower after three pints."
"I put trousers on today, so I'm calling it a win."
"Currently in a committed relationship with my sofa."
"I'd say 'living the dream', but I think I overslept and missed it."
"Just trying to remember my Netflix password, which seems to be my main life goal."
"I have the energy of a sloth on a lazy Sunday."
"Pretty good, considering I haven't won the EuroMillions yet."
"I'm not saying I'm a mess, but I'm definitely not not a mess."
"Trying to be a grown-up. It's not going well."
The Playfully Flirty Response
A bit cheeky and designed to create a spark right from the start.
"A lot better now you're here."
"Warning: I'm currently experiencing high levels of charm. What are you up to?"
"Couldn't be better. What kind of trouble are you planning on getting us into?"
"I was having a decent day, but you just made it a great one."
"Physically? I'm great. Emotionally? Still recovering from the last episode of The Traitors."
"All the better for seeing your name pop up."
"I’m currently accepting applications for a partner in crime. What are your qualifications?"
"Just wondering what you're up to, and now I know."
"Somewhere between 'needs a cuddle' and 'ready for an adventure'."
"Feeling like today's the day I meet someone amazing. No pressure."
"I can't complain. But I'm still going to."
"If I were any better, I'd be you."
"Mentally I'm on a beach in Spain. Physically I'm on my sofa. How about you?"
"Let's just say my day is looking up."
"I was about to ask you the same thing."
"How am I supposed to answer that when you've just taken my breath away?"
"In need of a good conversation. Think you can help with that?"
How to Adapt Your Humour for Tinder, Bumble, and Hinge
Not all apps are the same. Tailoring your witty replies to the platform's vibe can give you an extra edge.
Tinder: Punchy & Provocative
Tinder is fast-paced. Your response needs to be short, punchy, and grab attention immediately. Think one-liners that invite a quick, playful reply. The goal is to stand out from the noise.
"Dangerously well. You?"
"Plotting world domination. Need a sidekick."
"Currently accepting applications for a partner in crime. What are your qualifications?"
Hinge: Quirky & Engaging
Hinge is 'designed to be deleted', so conversations often have a bit more depth. Use humour that ties into your profile or asks a question. It's a great place for more specific, quirky wit. Using funny hinge prompts in your profile can set up these conversations perfectly.
(If you have a travel pic): "Freshly returned from [place] and trying to remember how normal life works. How's your week not involving [activity from pic]?"
"Deep in a philosophical debate with my cat about the meaning of life. He's winning. How's your day of intellectual discovery?"
"Still recovering from trying to answer that 'Dating me is like...' prompt. How are you at making life-altering decisions?"
Bumble: Confident & Collaborative
On Bumble, she makes the first move, so your reply needs to build on her opener. Your humour should be confident and inviting, making it easy for her to continue the conversation.
Her: "Hey, how are you?" You: "All the better for hearing from you! I'm just trying to decide what the best biscuit for dunking is. Got any strong opinions?"
Her: "How's your week going?" You: "It's been great, but I have a feeling the highlight is just starting. How about yours?"
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From Laughs to Dates: How to Follow Up Your Funny Opener
Great, your witty line landed and you got a 'Haha' or a laughing emoji. Now what? This is where most guys drop the ball. A joke is an opener, not a full conversation. Here's how to pivot and turn that laugh into a real connection.
Read the Reaction
Did she just say 'lol' or did she add to the joke? If she plays along, that's a green light for more banter. If it's a short reply, it's time to switch gears to something more personal.
Pivot to a Question
The best way to build momentum is to ask a question about her profile. It shows you've actually looked at it and are genuinely interested.
"Haha glad you liked that. On a more serious note, I saw you were in Italy in your pics - was that recent?"
"Okay, enough about my existential biscuit crisis. Your dog is adorable, what's its name?"
"Glad my terrible sense of humour is appreciated! That picture of you hiking looks amazing. Where was it taken?"
Maintain the Vibe
Don't immediately become super serious. Keep the tone light and playful. The goal is to build rapport, not conduct an interview. Knowing how to keep a dating app conversation going is key to turning that initial laugh into an actual date.
Tips for Using Humour in Conversations
While funny responses can be great conversation starters, there are some things to consider when using humour, especially in the context of dating apps:
Know your audience: Make sure your humour is appropriate for the situation and the person you're talking to. Look at their profile for clues about their personality and interests.
Timing is key: Deliver your funny response at the right moment to maximise its impact. Don't force it into a serious chat.
Don't force it: If humour doesn't come naturally, don't push it. It's better to be genuine than to come off as trying too hard. Authenticity matters on dating apps.
Be mindful of tone: Make sure your tone conveys that you're joking, so your humour isn't misunderstood. Emojis can help here, but don't overdo them.
Stay lighthearted: Avoid controversial or offensive jokes, as they can easily backfire. Stick to witty banter, observational humour, or playful teasing.
Don't be afraid to laugh at yourself - it shows that you don't take yourself too seriously, a very British trait!
Boost Your Online Dating Profile with Humour
If you're looking to stand out on dating platforms like Tinder or Hinge, incorporating humour in your profile can work wonders. A witty bio or funny answers to prompts can catch the attention of potential matches and showcase your unique personality right from the start.
Funny Tinder Bio Ideas
"Fluent in emoji, sarcasm, and song lyrics."
"Equal parts witty and clumsy – I might trip, but I'll make you laugh while doing it."
"Professional third-wheel seeking someone to finally make me a duo."
"Looking for someone who appreciates my love for puns and dad jokes."
Using Humour in Your Dating App Pictures
TinderProfile.ai can help you choose the Best Pictures For Tinder that showcase your sense of humour. Whether it's a photo of you wearing a funny t-shirt, pulling a silly face, or participating in a humorous activity, showing your fun side can make your profile more appealing and give potential matches something to comment on.
Check out our Good Tinder Pictures guide for more ideas and inspiration on how to use visuals to convey your witty personality. You can also find tips on how to start a conversation with a girl after they've liked your funny profile or pictures.
Turn Banter into Dates: Your Guide to Funny Responses
Adding humour to your conversations can help you connect with others and make life more enjoyable. Using funny, witty responses to "how are you" is a simple but effective way to incorporate British banter into everyday interactions on dating apps.
Just remember to consider your audience and timing, be authentic, and most importantly, have fun with it!
For those looking to improve their online dating profile beyond just opening lines, humour can be an excellent tool. From witty bios to amusing pictures, showing off your sense of humour can make your profile stand out and improve your success on platforms like Tinder, Hinge, and Bumble. Let TinderProfile.ai help you create a profile that showcases your unique, funny personality and increases your chances of finding a match.
FAQs About Mastering British Dating App Humour
1. What makes British humour different from American humor in dating apps?
British humour in dating apps often relies more on dry wit, sarcasm, self-deprecation, and understated irony compared to more overt or slapstick styles sometimes found elsewhere. It's less about loud jokes and more about clever phrasing and reading between the lines.
2. How do I know if my witty response is working in a British dating context?
Look for their reply. Are they using laughing emojis (😂, 🤣)? Do they play along with your joke or witty observation? Do they respond with similar banter? A simple, engaged reply that acknowledges your humour is a good sign it landed well. A confused or generic response might mean it didn't connect.
3. Are there any topics I should avoid joking about in British dating apps?
Yes, definitely. Avoid controversial topics like politics, religion, or sensitive social issues unless you are absolutely sure of their stance and that the context is appropriate for humour. Also, steer clear of overly negative or offensive jokes. Keep it lighthearted and positive, especially early in the conversation.
4. Should I use different funny responses for different dating apps in the UK?
While the core principles of British humour apply, you might tailor slightly. Hinge prompts often lend themselves well to more thoughtful or quirky witty responses. Tinder might favour quicker, punchier banter. Bumble, where women message first, means you'll be receiving openers more, but you can use funny lines in your profile or follow-up messages.
5. How can I balance humour with showing genuine interest in someone on a dating app?
Humour is a great icebreaker, but don't let it be the only aspect of your conversation. After the witty opener, transition into asking genuine questions about their profile or interests. Show you're engaging with them beyond just trying to be funny. Use humour to build rapport, not replace authentic connection.
50+ Funny Responses to 'How Are You' for UK Dating Apps 2025
